the countdown begins

How ironic that the 31st is a Friday.. this challenge is also helping me get through the week!

2 things here:

  1. I finally finished the Positive Psychology book. The last few pages spoke about the workplace and how managing in a more “positive” mindset creates progress and success. It went into a reminder that as humans we all have different strengths, and to function properly in the workplace, one must manage according to those strengths. The book ended with a recap and another reminder that in life, this theory of Positive Psychology doesn’t mean you can’t be sad. It doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. It also doesn’t meant that just because you are thinking positive all wonderful things will come. It’s an ongoing study of how we think and see things. And in that study it shows much better outcomes on a positive mindset (even during times of tragedy or sadness) versus a negative one. Also in that as humans, we are prone to default to the negative, which creates a sort of “reason” or excuse to things, rather than ownership and understanding. Overall, I liked it, and am a believer. Interestingly enough though, having the workplace be a subject towards the end of the book, brings me to my next point.
  2. Work is creating health changing stress. I finally got my check up for my wildly break-dancing heart and found once again, it is all stress induced. My Dr. literally said to me, “No I’m serious, Drs orders on going to Yoga. You need it.” My only thought was, can I get that in writing!? I would love to be able to leave on time –¬†without feeling like the weight of my job isn’t about to crush me – just to be able to make it to a class with a tiny bit of motivation left. It was sort of comforting to know that at least this isn’t like a cholesterol issue or something a little more scary that may have been created. I am still waiting on blood work also, so we will see what that tells us.

So here’s to the first day of my last week in this blog challenge. With Monday under my belt, nothing can stop me now! Except maybe terrible blood results, lol ūüėź

Time to go decompress and try to meditate to slow this sporadic thumping in my chest.

 

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“heartbeat! you make me feel so weak!”

Taana Gardner, I feel you girl! Not sure if I mentioned from when I wrote about my stress and anxiety a couple weeks back, but my heart palpitations have come to say hello again. This second time around isn’t as scary, although it does make me feel weak! Because I am a little afraid to run or do anything that exerts energy.

I’ve been meaning to make another doctor’s appointment, but you know, when you for some reason work in an environment that frowns upon time off, and takes no consideration when you do take time off, (in regards to work load) it’s a little difficult to make that a priority or focus. This brings me to one of my favorite quotes:

dalai-lama

My man, The Dalai Lama ‚̧ I so love this.. and it’s funny because as I wrote those sentences above this quote immediately popped in my brain. Why is this not memorized as a daily mantra?! Because my¬†HEALTH should be my priority.

Ugh. When I have been doing all I can nutrition-wise all the way to drinking up to 50-oz of water a day again, and yet my skin is still dry, brittle, and sunken in.. You’d think I would be more in-tune with the issue at hand. Stress, anxiety, and now these awesome – what I like to call – mini-heartattacks. Why does life need to cost money?

Thankfully, aside from this stress that is pretty much making me sick – wait, you know something?! I was looking at past social media posts recently.. and I kid you not, in the past 5mo I counted being sick about 4 times. FOUR TIMES. That’s almost once a month! Maybe it’s not the weather after all! – I do try and live in the present at all times. Thanks to my 5-minute Journal and noting down what I am grateful for on a daily basis, it does help me to stay present and do my best to take advantage of Today.

Now if I could just find a nice balance of personal priorities and a fulfilling job, I think these palpitations would be gone for good. But why is it of all things that, THAT is the hard part? Why is having a job/career so detrimental to personal life?! When did that happen? Whatever happened to working for a greater good, to make your company proud, to build relationships that last for a lifetime? Now with most people I talk to, it’s not common to have “work-friends” rather just “work-friend” and some times no actual “friends” at all, rather just acquaintances, or just “people I work with”. And many don’t even hang out with these people outside the office or even know anything about their personal lives. We have created an office culture of just showing up to take home pennies with no regard on how this affects us personally (I’m sure certain industries may differ? but my close friends all work in different industries, and it seems to be similar). And by ‘affecting us personally’ I mean working long hours, or running on empty by the time 5pm hits and not putting yourself first.. when the only reason we have jobs is to pay for things.. for¬†ourselves.¬†

I remember working in environments where managers and¬†employees actually¬†cared about each others well-being. We would get drinks after work on a weekly basis, celebrate¬†birthdays, and baby showers, and weddings! And we hung out on weekends and became actual friends. Because these are the people you see more than your own family amiright!? So it made sense to create relationships.. Or maybe it’s just a New England thing,¬†because I just realized all those work-fam experiences were when I lived in New England. Gah SoCal! ūüė¶ #SoDissapointing

I digress.. sort of.. I just know I’m a little uncomfortable because my heart keeps break-dancing in my chest, which creates fears of being able to make quick movements. And this is created by stress, which is sadly because of my current work environment.

We can do this heart! Got to do some heart-push-ups to keep you strong.. and learn to invest in myself so I stop making you work harder than you need to ‚̧