take care of yourself

So I started back at yoga last week! How pumped is everyone about that!?

Lol 🙂 I was going to dive into a 30 day challenge.. and honestly, if I still hold onto that challenge, I’m doing better than when I actually (over)paid to do an actual challenge about 2 years ago. Last time I made it 12 days straight.. then took a day or 5 off.. and ended up only making it through 17 classes in total. So far with this personal challenge, I have gone to 5 classes in the last 7 days, not including today – although I will probably still end up taking 5 classes again this week. So if my math is good, I’m on schedule to make it to about 20 classes this 30 days vs the 17 I did last time. I call that progress!

More importantly, I’m listening to myself. I have a tiny smile in my heart because I am doing what is good for me, and my body. I am actually making time for myself. I actually made plans around my yoga schedule! I think my mindset adjusted a little because so far, in all my classes, (I tried hot-yin too!) all my instructors have ended the final savasana with saying: “Thank yourself for coming to yoga, for taking care of yourself.”

LOVE THAT! Because it’s so true in anything you do – especially physical. I know there are some people who enjoy working out, but let’s be real.. there are definitely some sucky workouts. Sometimes it’s just a bad day, you didn’t drink enough water, your muscles are more tight than usual and you don’t understand why, you are just tired. But any workout should be viewed as a success! Thank yourself for it! Because it’s so true when they say (whoever they are..) “No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.”

LOVE THAT too! The point is in those savasana words: Thank yourself.. for taking care of yourself.. I don’t know why it took those words for me to understand that workouts and exercise are more than just looking good – because I knew that already – I guess I just never believed it. Because this will be a slow process, but the way I feel after just one week so far, proves that the rest will come. Seeing changes is motivational, but feeling a change, creates longevity, consistency, and continued progress. Because when you feel good about something, you want to keep doing it, amiright!?

On top of feeling good, another thing the instructors say a lot is: “Listen to your body, not your mind.” Because your mind will sometimes tell you, you can’t, but your body can.. and more so, listening to your body will tell you how far you can actually go. For you mental people, another side of this is, sometimes your brain thinks you can but then you injure yourself or push too far. It’s a balance – your mind is logic, but your body will never lie to you. And so that is why I’m sitting in a cafe typing this afternoon/evening. My body didn’t feel that great today for some reason. Maybe it was the recent, drastic, change in the weather? I’ll be in bed early tonight for sure. But in taking care of myself tonight, here’s to feeling better tomorrow to tackle my Tuesday double! I take a 60min Bikram-inspired class (it only adjusts two postures, and removes a second set for the rest) and then 60min hot-yin! It’s a great Tuesday night combo, I feel so amazing after! Tired, but amazing 🙂 It’s like my push for the week, on a Tuesday no less, but then the rest of the week feels easy!

So here’s to listening to yourself and taking care of yourself. Health (and by Health I also include mental-health) is a constant struggle for most of the United States, and I truly hope those of you reading this has something, or finds something, that makes you feel good. Whether it’s yoga, running, volleyball, whatever, just take care of yourselves. Do something good for you, and your body. Find your balance. Our time here is short as it is, might as well try and add one more day to it. And more so, feel good about everyday and find more meaning.

#namaste

 

 

my biggest flaw

I, for some reason, had an urge to share today, and as I learned from my blog challenge, I will listen!

In regards to the title of this piece, ask anyone who may know me even a little bit, and I have an inkling they will all say my biggest “problem” or “flaw” is I care too much. Many times it’s about things that, “don’t matter” or “shouldn’t matter”. Or more so, about people who “don’t deserve” it.

Good thing I don’t listen to anyone – maybe that’s another “flaw” lol.

I went to church for the first time in a long time, at my own will even.. << this is a rare occurrence. I was born and raised a Catholic – I still have those services memorized and engrained in my brain.. with the OLD language I might add – none of this “new” Catholic church language for me! lol (totally aging myself here). And let’s be clear, I have nothing against Catholics at all, but structure and methodology only speak to me in yoga. In religion, the only consistent “rules” you should find, are: to Love one another, and Worship he/she who takes care of you. (I say he/she because for many it is the Universe and Mother Earth who takes care of you, and that’s ok – because honestly, the lines of creationism and evolution are very much able to be seen as intertwined, so I never really understood how people could separate the two if you believe in anything bigger, outside of yourself.)

Anywhooo – I am in the process of trying a few congregations to see what feels best for my needs. Until this point, I haven’t been able to find anything ‘inviting’ per-say, since I moved away from Orange County. Not sure where this urge came from, but I gladly accepted it. This particular service that I went to over the weekend, (and I’m sure God knew) was legit, EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Everything from trusting the Lord, to reverting back to old ways because it’s “comfortable” versus taking yourself out of comfort for something larger.

It was relevant in so many ways about how as humans we are all flawed and don’t naturally love or forgive – we feel hate, revenge, bitterness.. And there was a moment where the pastor said something like, “And that’s why I’m not Jesus”, and some one out there let out an “Amen!” which created some laughter because then the pastor stated, “You didn’t have to say it THAT loud”, lol. I mention this because I am hard on myself, and this was a wonderful reminder that yes, I am not God, I am not Jesus, I am NOT perfect. But being imperfect doesn’t mean you can’t at least try to be better.

I have prayed many-a-time to “not feel”. Yet after this weekend I wonder, why is feeling a flaw?! Most sermons consist of learning to forgive, and to love, and to not judge – because we, as humans, naturally do the opposite when we are hurt, embarrassed, or feel threatened. I realized, maybe I’m a better person than I think I am – I am loyal even to those who are not loyal to me, I make time when someone asks something of me, even if they have not given the same in return. And again, if you look deeper here, yes, this leads me to over-give myself without taking..

But c’mon let’s be real here – is the act of taking really something we see of value? That we are proud of? I would hope not, but I understand the concern of [my people] because there “should” be balance – but seriously, those who tell me I give too much.. each and every one of those people were not there for me at one time or another when I needed them. So what does that say about them? If I listened to the people I care about, I shouldn’t give to them either! Because even the closest, most chosen-family of [my people], are still not there for me when I need them sometimes. Because again, we are human, we are not perfect. And trust me, I still wish I didn’t care as much about anything than I do – but I’ll tell you right now, the people I make myself available for, or give to, feel better than when I’m not available, and I definitely feel good knowing I have helped in some way. So it’s a win-win. To always worry about oneself leads us into those moments where we have to look ourselves in the mirror again. Pain and bitterness, as crazy as it sounds, is easy. To be angry and bitter takes no effort – but to love.. if you’ve loved anything, or anyone, you know this is a daily choice – daily, constant, effort. And this is why people tell me I’m crazy to care because I do exert a lot of energy, never mind time to those I care most about.

In the end, moral of the story of the service this past weekend was making sure you are listening for the whispers of God (listen to what the Universe is telling you!) – this I have a hard time with. The pastor continued with, if you don’t listen to the whispers, God may have to sort-of slap you in the face with the message. Blessing in disguise, if you will (or karma, amiright?!) So this made me see myself, where I am, what I do, and if I was “comfortable”. If I was doing things out of comfort because I am in a stressful moment of my life. Was I reverting back to “old” ways? Was I doing things that weren’t really making me better, but just fulfilling an empty space for now? I stopped caring for a little bit, I did things, and planned things in my brain that brought me back to another time. A time of pain. I tried to expose this “better” side of me – which was a complete lie. But I did book an amazing trip out of it, lol (which now I question if it was the right choice?) This past weekend made me care again. Not gonna lie, I didn’t really like it, lol. But if it is my calling to care, then by all means, I will care. Maybe that’s my life’s tragedy: The girl who cared to much. What were those lyrics by The Band Perry?

“Here lies the girl whose only crutch,
Was loving one man just a little too much”

Now don’t be vain, this song isn’t about you.. Lol – but more so meaning there’s my crutch. I give, and I give. I love, and I love. I give to a lot of people who don’t give back. People I love, people I call family. People who think they give enough to me.. but they don’t. This will always be an imbalance in my life. And if I can accept that of others of whom I know are not perfect, then I truly hope if one of you are reading this, that you understand, I will keep caring, and I will keep giving. And I, too am not perfect. And maybe the rest of you readers are like – damn girl, get some new people in your life! Lol! Trust me, I thought that many times – and honestly, I have made some adjustments along the way.

But for those who may have thought that, if you look around you, none of your people are perfect too. But they are your people. For whatever reason they have stuck by your side through good, bad, ugly, and even nasty. And thats why, even if your circle is small, theres always one other person who picks up pieces when another person drops them. We have these people because there is not one person who can fill every crevice of your heart and life. We have friends, we have family, we have children, and parents.. and even pets. And I am blessed to be the pick-er-upper for my people.

Now, if I could just find the right path for my life, that would be awesome..

 

🙂

..let it rain

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Love this! I found this as I wanted to talk about time..for one thing, this perfectly describes the weather today 🙂 but more so, my current idea of ‘time’.

I mean, can we just talk about how we wake up, blink, and it’s all of a sudden 7pm?! Like, what did I even DO today!? Maybe it’s the feeling of being at work for 8 hours that takes away the meaning of a day.. and by ‘meaning’ it’s not to say that the day doesn’t mean anything, it’s just that when it goes by, I almost feel like I missed out on living.

Because for real, as much as I love Fridays when they come, I also love Mondays, and Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.. Because everyday is important – so how all of a sudden do I feel every day just slipping away? It’s like the days have just gotten faster on me.

So this rain quote I found, one that I now love, sort of presents a good way to look at time. As time goes by, let it go. Because we can’t control it, it will just keep going without us! Let’s remember to see days as moments, not minutes. Even through a stressful workday, find time (how ironic) to make moments – coffee moment, co-worker moment, moment for yourself.

As time keeps moving on without our permission, all we can do is make moments to keep us feeling alive. It’s a great reminder to be present, let it rain, let time go, be grateful for the weather, be grateful for now.

 

🙂

40 days and 40 nights

My dad is in town, and for those who are reading this and know me, that means church on Sundays! I mean, I have gone to church without my father before, but those churches are not Catholic churches. And while I can’t say I “enjoy” being in a Catholic church and all that structure and feeling like God is always angry.. It is slightly comforting to still know by heart every bit of every prayer, (with old-school language I might add.. I never learned these “new” words they have updated to) and to sort of reminisce about grade school.

So let’s just talk about with how happy I was just for the fact that today was the first Sunday of Lent! A couple quick things here, I love the season of Lent and I am also a believer of a higher power – one of which I call God. Also, I’m not quite sure how I feel about churches, but I have always found it endearing how people find comfort in feeling a part of something by “praying” together. (This is a whole other post in itself) And let’s be clear here – I am a believer, but I am not by any means, telling any of you to believe something that you don’t. Nor am I trying to persuade – I like to believe I am a proper Christian who lives by the choice that God gave us, to believe or not to believe. Therefore, I am no judge or a prophet – I just hope you all are good people, but if you aren’t a good person.. I may judge a little bit lol 😉

Anywhoo – Lent! Yay for lent! Lol I love this time of year because as I explained, with much more sarcasm and swear words, to a dear friend of mine: It gives me a reason to challenge myself, make me a better person. And for me, because I do feel this sort of, “higher meaning” behind it, I actually stick to it. My percent of failure at what I have chosen for Lent every year is probably an average of about 90% success.. There have definitely been years where I have given up, or slipped, but more times than not, I uphold the challenge and am sometimes sad when it’s over, because I want to know how long I can REALLY go without bread before I break into a bakery in the middle of the night just to smell it!

I continued the conversation by saying to her, (she who is not a church-goer or religiously inclined per say) I think this is a great personal experience for everyone to go through because whether a believer or not, the point in Life, or with God’s work, is to challenge ourselves. To make ourselves better, to find fulfillment and find a bigger purpose than just – wake up, work, die. Now I’m not saying Lent changes lives and makes us all open non-profits to save babies, or puppies, or trees, but what I am saying is that giving yourself a challenge during Lent or in August, whenever you want, proves to yourself what you are capable of. I like the season of Lent however, because one: I follow it anyway, and two: a lot of people seem to, even if they aren’t exactly religious, so thats a great support system for any challenge you put yourself into these next 40 days (or 36 now if you want to get technical). It’s a great way to help each other and hold ourselves accountable. And here’s a wonderful quote I found about Lent:

“It’s almost looked at as a sort of “spring-cleaning” for your life.” heavy.com

I thought that article was a nice, little, quick explanation of Lent, and have I mentioned that quote is wonderful?!

I pretty much did a “Spring Cleaning” at home yesterday! Lol – Imagine doing that with your life once a year. Like a 3 day cleanse to kick start better eating, Lent gives us a reason to challenge oneself in hopes to kick start into something better ahead.

And again,  if you feel strongly about staying as far away from any religious ties, pick a different time of year – your birthday, an anniversary.. I just challenge you.. to challenge yourself! I feel like if we challenged ourselves more often, we may see new sides of ourselves – We would view life and/or certain situations differently. Just like with me, as mentioned a couple days ago, I like challenging myself anyway, new yoga class, pushing to a 10k run, whatever. This blog post is day 5 of a “blog challenge” I gave myself after my “quote challenge” from my Birthday month! So ok, I’m a little bit of an overachiever when it comes to challenges.. Lol. But just as I found some insight from the quotes I found in February, I am seeing a new determination during this “blog challenge” that I haven’t had in some time. I’m using my brain differently on a daily basis trying to think of something to share – it makes me look at every day differently, thinking.. how can I tell this story? Or even if I have a frustrating day, this challenge forces me to at least share that frustration in words even if it’s written poorly.

The point is, it’s making me DO vs just thinking about it. I had been frustrated at myself for not keeping up this blog and writing to my full potential. And honesty, I was super scared I wouldn’t have enough material for 31 days – OMG. I literally JUST realized I began this blog challenge on the first day of LENT! Ash Wednesday was March 1st this year! WHA?! I’ve been challenging myself from the start! Never mind the bread thing! 😀

That seriously just made my day! Ok so to finish up here, I hope you all take from this an idea of a challenge. Whether it’s giving up bread (harder than it looks I tell ya), taking a 30-day yoga challenge, or taking the GMATs (go big or go home amiright?!). Whatever it is, I hope you find something new, something that makes you think a little bit differently about what is around you, something that makes you proud of yourself ❤

Good Luck! 🙂

 

 

 

missing quote

I’ve been searching for about 30 minutes now for a quote I saw a few days back. I wish I had screen-shot it, or saved it..

It went something like this:

“Just because you have a bad day at work, doesn’t mean you have a bad job. Just because you have a good day at work, doesn’t mean you have a good job.”

And if I remember correctly it was another line or two longer about the overall feeling your job has on you. (If someone is familiar with this and can share, I’d love to have a copy of the actual quote, because I wanted to post it as reference) I could also be off on the wording as well, so I apologize in advance.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking and re-stating (what I can remember) this since I saw it. I’m questioning my own feelings about my situation. Are they just bad days? Or are they just good days?