lets regroup – (another inexplicable draft)

Can I just say.. LOL to this?!

Because once again, I’ve slacked on my writing (UGH) and come back to interesting drafts waiting for me.. Not quite sure where this was headed honestly – but I thought I might as well share it since it was in my brain once. Also, in retrospect, my 3 years here in SoCal was lovely.. the LOL idea, however, is that from when this draft started to where I am now.. more “BOOM”s happened.. and not so positive ones at that. But it’s always good to know, remember, and share the silver linings when they come.. I just wished I had finished this back in September.. nonetheless, this is where I was 4/5 months ago 🙂

 

 

<<draft_begins>>

Funny, when I first moved to SoCal, (3 years ago coming up this October.. crazy!) time seemed to move at a “normal” pace. But the minute I met some people and got a job, it’s like I can’t blink fast enough and BOOM 3 years are here. And even more of a BOOM.. this past year. Whoa I say! Simma down.. lol

Anyway, I don’t even know where to start.. work has pretty much caught fire in my life and it’s been pretty good.. not too many complaints.. today was not one of those days though, and it reminded me how much I missed this outlet. I really wished reading and writing could pay my bills, but it doesn’t and because of that, I lose a little of myself for months. Getting caught up in day-to-days.. in what’s expected of me (work-wise.. I mean we all know life-wise I do nothing of what is “expected” of me HA! And well, because that’s silly to expect things in Life.. but that’s a whole other blog post). But I digress, so continuing on.. let’s see.. the past 5 months..

Aside from work, my personal life has been pretty.. I don’t know, stagnant? I don’t like using that word.. but I’m not quite sure how else to explain. I mean I’ve been happy.. it’s weird even, because there have definitely been some changes.. But there just haven’t been rollercoasters.. just a few uphill jogs.. Nothing crazy, and well, it’s been nice.

 

10/11/12

I never even realized the date of my departure until this year.. I can’t remember who even mentioned it, but it was just a casual conversation of:

Me: “Yah, my 3 year anniversary is coming up this weekend! October 11th – I’ll never forget it.” 

Person who I don’t remember: “10/11/12 huh? Ha!”

I can’t believe I never noticed.. I wasn’t even trying to be ironic! Haha, but what I found so amazing about it, is that not only will 10/11/12 never happen again in our lifetime, but my fateful cross-country move – will also never happen again.

And by “happen again”, I mean, yah I might have another big move or something else as life-changing occur, but this move not only changed my life, it also created more than a new one.

When I think about that day.. omg. The crying. It was ridiculous. Like reeeaallyyy RIDICULOUS. I kept re-thinking the whole thing.. I was leaving a 5-year relationship, a 4-year job – this was the most stable my life had ever been.. It was comfortable. I kept yelling at myself: “I only have 3k in my pocket! I have no job, no where to live.. I’m 31 years old dammit.. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!”

But then 10pm PST came.. my flight had landed an hour late.. my cousin thought my plane had either crashed or I lied and ran back to Boston. Talk about an anxiety-filled first night! When I walked onto that tarmac at LGB it had been raining. It was warm, and I still remember the smell of the rain mixed with palm trees. It was like I was on vacation.

I wanted to kiss the wet ground, I was so happy. Every sad emotion was gone. I was now nervous.. Hopeful.. Excited.. Nervous.. Determined.. And did I mention, Nervous? Haha, but it was a great feeling.

Life hadn’t felt this promising since the first day of college. Except I now had more self-esteem, confidence, courage, sass, wisdom, and hopefulness. I had wanted this since I was 13. It was finally happening. I couldn’t decide where to start.

In one month I found a job, an apartment, and a best friend.

I never looked back.

Every new day that has passed, brought more new beginnings and new adventures. And boy, it’s been one heck of an adventure so far. Everyday is different, everyday is new. I never felt like that back east. There is a certain old-world stigma that New England holds. I appreciate it’s history and tradition, and miss it every now and then.. I will also always miss the Fall, but I’ve also never been a traditionalist. I’m always looking for something new. And whether it was me or my surroundings, there was never anything “new” happening. Just the same, societal-expected life cycles happening to different people.

“Normal” expectations are fine for most, but again, I’m unconventional. And my unconventional life is perfect. It’s only imperfect to traditionalists. It’s perfect for me because the only expectations I now have, are from myself. ❤ Honestly, I’m still learning to accept this part of me, (because, I mean, who doesn’t want to be part of the popular crowd, am I right?! lol) but thankfully I have been surrounded by those who support me and help me thrive in my little unconventional world. I have grown so much in these past 3 years; I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and I’ve loved every giggle and every tear. My soul has been happy.

So here’s to year #3 and the beginning of #4! And to many, many, MANY! more years of New Beginnings 🙂

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings” – Dave Weinbaum

Cheers!