manhunt.

I’m about 3-4 months away from making it a whole year without sex.

TMI? Sorry.. wait no, I’m not sorry. Because theres nothing wrong with saying it. I am not ashamed of it, and I’m sure there are a few people sitting in this boat I’m floating in.. I am also sure that some of you who are reading this are shocked. Way to think I’m a floozy! HA! Honestly, I’m partially shocked too. Anyway.. with the many conversations I have had with friends from back east, my roommate, and even my cousins, I’ve realized it’s not because I haven’t had any chances, its just that I’ve become a monster. In a good way. I think.

I am still as boy-crazy as ever, but I have created un-attainable standards for any male who thinks they are getting past a hand shake with me.

Good? Maybe. Bad? Probably. Because, yes, I am looking for more than a romp in the sack, but at the same time, I’m not giving any chances. And for someone who has made plenty bad decisions in her day when it comes to men.. HAHAHA – literally laughing at myself right now – It’s a strange feeling to have.. what are those called? Oh right, standards.

I partially blame it on my ex. After 5 years, it sadly didn’t work, but that’s not to say it was because of him. Oh, I take full responsibility. I wanted different things, and I lost my spark. But looking back, and now looking forward.. these future guys have ALOT to live up to. I mean, my ex had an amazingly stable and well-paying job, he had a great family, was relatively responsible, and took care of me like no one ever had. He knew how to fix things, make things.. he even changed the brakes on my car.. and they are still working! 😉 He knew how to cook, and he was my best friend. Being on my own now for almost 7 months, I can see the little things on why it didn’t work, but that doesn’t take away his awesomeness.

So now when I meet those of the male species, I’m all like – “What do you do for a living? Do you like sports? Do you know anything about cars? Are you reliable? Can you drive a manual?.” And the list goes on.. I mean, if the poor guy doesn’t have nice shoes on I’m judging! Even though my ex was a home-town boy who loved fishing and Star Wars, he did know a good shoe. And there it is. Damn him! Why did he have to be almost perfect?!

Of course I know the answer.. so I don’t settle for less than perfection. Which makes my love for Bradley Cooper all the more reasonable. But here comes a new problem. Every guy I find who meets these standards of mine are One of Three things:

Taken – Married with children – or Gay.

What am I supposed to do with that?! And all the others..? I’ve been throwing down the friend-card left and right. Because, I’m sorry, if you are a man, you don’t have to necessarily drive a manual, but you at least have to know how. Especially if I drive one. And yes, that means something to me. It’s almost as is important as how I take my coffee.

IMG_1081

So call me crazy, call me bitchy, call me unrealistic, or even unreasonable.. But there are things in life we hold to non-negotiables. And for me, I have a lot of them. But even with non-negotiables, in the end it does come down to emotion and spark. I know that sounds absolutely insane after everything I have just said, but I am a hopeless romantic deep down. I’m an Aquarian for goodness sakes, I believe in the stars and the dreams that hold them.. It has been said about Aquarians that, “Although you appear aloof and detached you’re inwardly sensitive and caring.” See? I’m just bitchy, crazy, and judgmental on the outside! 😉

But seriously though, it is a cycle.. common interests create a conversation, which creates common ground, which in turn creates a friendship.. it’s the spark that creates the relationship. And like Rich said, worst case, if I’m gonna become a hussy, I might as well have standards.

Oh well.. Charlotte did quote that you can become re-virginized after a year of no sex. Thank you Sex & the City for once again making me feel better about my life.. gah!

Cheers!

birthday love.

It’s officially been 4 months now in California. Im a few days late in my anniversary, but its because I was too busy celebrating the best.holiday.ever.

The day I was born.

My mother, every year mind you, either calls or texts me on my birthday right around the actual time of birth and tells me she has stomach pains. I can’t make this stuff up. It makes me laugh every year and this year was even better because with her still being on the East Coast, she texted me 3 hours early. And I say early, not just because of the time difference, but because I was born in San Diego, so therefore, my birthday is technically on PST time which I never really noticed till now. She was amused when I mentioned it, and just responded with “Well the pain will last at least 2 hours or more.” Oh mother..

My birthday is usually at least a week-long extravaganza, sometimes month-long, depending on the birthday. This year its just a 3 and a 2, so nothing too spectacular, but it still deserved a week 🙂

The thing with my birthday, which is why I make such a big deal out of it, is that it is two days before Valentine’s day. For many, you may be thinking, “Amazing! Double the gifts!” But for those who share a birthday next to any major Holiday will know how annoying it is. What’s worse is that Christmas babies, Easter babies, even 4th of July babies, at least have REAL holidays to compete with. I, on the other hand, get this fabricated fake-love, reason-to-buy-me-gifts-that-are-meaningless – but-buy-them-anyway-so-there-are-no-fights, “holiday”. I stopped ‘celebrating’ (if you can call it that) Valentine’s day after the 6th grade when handing out valentines started ruining my birthday.

Every year, every birthday, even the important ones like 18, 21, and 30 have been postponed, moved, delayed, or I get a whole lot of late guests because of dinner plans, or valentine’s plans. I’m sorry, I get ONE. ONE freakin day a year to myself like everyone else, and I get it that I have to share it with this fake-love crap, but c’mon.. people still celebrate on the 15th too because dinner reservations are booked. So why ruin MY day!? I honestly feel for the people born on the 14th.. I was almost one of them, but thankfully I was impatient and got out two days early.. because do people with valentine’s birthdays actually ever celebrate their day of birth!? And even worse.. to re-iterate, its not even a REAL holiday!

Ugh, so in essence, my mother learned quick to stop wrapping birthday gifts in red and pink hearts. And stopped giving me “Valentine’s Birthday” cards. I also learned. I have a few December birthdays that I take extra special care of and send an actual birthday card and birthday present to. Because it’s their ONE day of the year too.

I mean, I don’t care when your birthday is, or even if you like birthdays. In the end, everyone, even those who say they don’t like birthdays, appreciate having one special day where people wish them luck, good will, love, or whatever other wishes of happiness there may be. And all these wishes are only that one person. As sad as it may sound, some people only receive recognition on their birthday.. And I know there are multiple people born on the same day, I share mine with a distant cousin, Abe Lincoln, Charles Darwin, Christina Ricci, Arsenio Hall, Bill Russell (Go C’s!) Judy Blume, and even one of my ex’s sisters.. But even still, it’s one day, one of the the most important days of our lives, and arguably THE most important day.. the day we graced this world with our presence. The day we were given the opportunity to be a part of life. If that isn’t reason to celebrate, then I don’t know what is.

So be mindful of holiday birthdays, and all birthdays for that matter, because we only have one.. just like this life. Every year that goes by where you can celebrate another, is a celebration in itself.