do you see what I see?

In my previous posts I mention that perception is reality. A while back, I was confronted about a situation and I still don’t quite know what I had to do with it.. honestly, (theres that honesty again!) not many people really understood it either, except for maybe the people involved.. Even then, I don’t know if they quite understood it either. Anyway, without being anymore vague, this situation left me rather defeated. Everything that was happening was really out of my control. The only unfortunate part in all this, was that what I had perceived of the situation was not what the confronter was trying to explain. So in true honesty fashion, I presented my concern to said confronter. I knew my thoughts were not going to change anything, nor did I want them to, and I didn’t quite care what the explanation was, I just needed to get my feelings out. After an exchange of emotion, and a try at making me feel less miserable about myself, I realized: It didn’t matter what I thought, or what anyone thought. Nothing mattered. The situation practically didn’t exist anymore.. because no matter what was said, or who thought what, my perception was not going to change. And neither was the opposing side.

Perception (from the Latin perceptio, percipio)n. is the organization, identification and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the environment.

Perception. Its an interpretation.. of sensory information. Every.single.person. interprets or perceives their environment differently. 5 people see a car accident, you get 5 different explanations. It doesn’t even matter how close any of the explanations are.. something will be slightly off. Whether it be something as technical as the color of clothing the driver was wearing, or as basic as ‘who hit who’, every perceived story, every explanation, will be different.

Knowing this, it opened my eyes to an entirely different perspective as to why things are the way they are in life. Now I’m not trying to throw you into a 3rd dimension of thought or anything, but think about it. Something as little as friendships are viewed differently by different people. Why do you think some people get jealous of relationships and others don’t? Because peoples interpretations are not the same. Here’s an easy explanation: I have a friend who is male, and we have been friends since high school. Our relationship has always been platonic, there has never even been an awkward hug. However, being the social media freak I can be sometimes, I was advised to not mention or tag him with me every time we would meet up;  even if it was just a simple coffee break. The independent part of me was all up in arms because really, I had nothing to hide.. it was ridiculous. Anyone who knew us at all would state the same. However, even though I had met his girlfriend on several occasions, we did not have the same friends. And those friends who didn’t know me, would potentially perceive me to be some sort of wild hussy. And again, no matter the explanation to these people.. just like the initial vague story of explanation to me, it wasn’t going to change our perception. I will still think its ridiculous and they will still think I’m a wild hussy, because that is our reality. That is what we see.

Taking it a little further is the 3rd wheel scenario. I never knew this even existed until recently, and it made me re-evaluate every friendship I ever had. In friendships, especially in multiples, someone always feels left out. Sometimes it’s for different reasons, but that someone, is everyone. Everyone is the 3rd wheel. I feel this way in a friendship I have, and strangely enough, one of my friends also felt the same to some degree, and for similar reasons. Again, it changes nothing. We can’t change how we feel.. we cant change our ‘sensory information.’ Its our reality, its what we see, its how we feel. No matter what dynamic happens in the friendship, we may always feel this way. I say ‘may’ because of course its possible to change ones perception of something, anything is possible. With that, however, we have to remember that if our perception changes, so doesn’t someone else’s. And we are back to square one.

This is why even people in the same political party or even the same religion still argue with each other. This is why there will never be a ‘right’ call on the football field, or basketball court, or baseball diamond. This is why there is conflict in our world. Every.single.day we forget about perception. We forget that what reality is to us, may not be to someone else. And sometimes we forget to see, or try to understand, someone else’s reality. The whole point to life is to find out who you are and be an individual.. to think for yourself. So then why are we constantly working so hard trying to make others think or see things the way we do? Or vise versa. See life the way you see it.. just remember no one else has your eyes.

“Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” -Lao Tzu

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