today.

Today is kind of a tough day.

It’s a day where I look back, and as cheese (my version of ‘cheesy’) as many of my posts are, I realize they are all true. As much as we want to live the way we watch it on television, read it, or quote it, it takes days like today where we question why we don’t actually live that way.

I found out that an old high school friend passed away yesterday. She was only 30yrs old and lost her fight with cancer. When I say old friend, I just want to clarify that we were friends in high school, but we haven’t talked since. In more recent years, she found me on Facebook, and we “kept in touch” via the internet. I didn’t know much about her after high school other than what I saw from Facebook.  I know she got married a few years ago and has three kids. We were not close, but when I read the news, I was back in high school. I was thinking.. imagine if we knew then how much time we had left.

My freshman year I lost a friend in a car accident. During that time I also wondered the same thing. My friends and I, and the whole town really, talked and talked about ‘how fragile life is’. Trying to keep this idea in the forefront of our minds.

And now, I am confronting these same emotions. Going into your 30s, the ideas of ‘threats’ like cancer, become more apparent in everyday life. Yet, (especially in this day-in-age where studies show we are living longer lives) we act as though we will live forever. Whether its 30 or 95, our time will come and it will still feel ‘too soon’ because there will always be a tomorrow that we don’t see.

I have posted before about regrets of the elderly before they passed and to not make the same mistakes. I have also posted about what this life has in store for us and the possibility of why things happen. I write and write, and people read and agree. Yet it takes a life lost before it hits home. It is hitting me especially hard because there are so many things I want to do before the Lord calls my name. I only pray that I have the time to do it all and make the impact on this life that I feel I’m supposed to. And when that time comes, I will continue to pray in hopes I am able to see the outcome of my positive (hopefully!) contribution I make on this world. I don’t know what this old friend of mine had planned in her life. I don’t know if she felt it was her time. As I mentioned before, I don’t know much, but what I do know, is that there is a family mourning a loss, and a ‘girl’ I talked to in the hallways and sang with in choir who lost a battle. I pray that the family finds peace.

I apologize if I have dampened the day. I did not share this to create sadness, but more as a reminder of, not only my posts, but of all those who share the same idea. Live today and don’t expect tomorrow, follow your dreams, tell people you love them. Make decisions and own them. Learn something new everyday. Make a difference even if its a small one. Have no regrets. Be thankful for everyday..

I can keep going, but you get the idea. If there is one more thing to say to finish off this post, it’s to remember ALL the cliches and keep them where you can see them.. Loss should not be the only reminder of life, today should be.

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4 thoughts on “today.

  1. I’ve found that it’s so easy to see the right way to live – to be fearless, to always follow your heart and do the right thing. But it’s so hard to actually do what you know you should do. Even after the many “wake-up-calls” in my own life, I often find my self without much hope, falling back into the same traps as before. Why is it that a moment of clarity – such as a dead or an illness – fades so quickly? What do you think a person should do to not forget what they knew to be true until the next moment happens?

    • Thank you David for reading and sharing your thoughts. The question of what should we do to keep us positive, is something I try and express in my writing all the time. It’s something no one can really answer, which is probably why I keep trying to write about it. I do believe it is different for everyone because in basic terms, people are different, so its hard to pin point what exactly will keep one person going..

      Again, thank you for reading, I look forward to reading your blog.

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