tall, raspberry iced coffee, in a grande cup.. with extra ice.

I currently have three fave hotspots where I constantly spend my time: Barnes & Noble and two different Starbucks. The Barnes & Noble is lovely on days off, especially rainy days and snowy days. Its quiet, has a lovely view of the highway, several things for me to read, and a cafe. My two Starbucksss (how DO you make Starbucks plural?) are similar for obvious reasons, but the main difference between the two, is which way and what time am I going to work?

I will keep these two Starbucksss fairly indistinguishable because continuing on this post, I don’t want to give anything away of which location I am talking about. Now, it’s not that I like one¬†better¬†than the other, they both have their defining qualities.. Like, one has a rude manager who I’ve seen get into arguments with customers and creates fear in me. At one of them, almost the entire staff knows my order way too well it almost scares me. (Or maybe thats both..) One has an awesome older gentleman who wears THE BEST hats. One of his hats is like those beer helmets with the straws, except it has coffee cups! (and OMG he is wearing it today!!) One of the Starbucksss has amazing seating. By amazing, I mean no matter where you sit, you are close enough to an outlet (this is important because somedays I sit for almost 8 hours. Hey, I job hunt too!) One also name-drops me.. bad. You heard me! Name-Drops! I can go on about their differences, but one thing is for sure, they both have internet, coffee, and baristas (or baristOs, as Danielle likes to call them, because they are guys) who are fairly talked about amongst my friends.

These baristOs we talk about are more important than the coffee or internet, obvi. There are the cute baristOs and the baristas (yah all kinds) who you know make your coffee better than others. Is it bad that when I send a girl out to get my coffee, and they come back with something questionable, I always ask who was working? There is some validity in ¬†knowing who is making the coffee. (A perfect example is when I order a certain drink and ask for it ‘skinny’. There is a sign in (I assume) every the Starbucksss that states: Try it ‘skinny’ = skim milk + sugar-free (or unsweetened). So when I order a ‘skinny’ beverage, why are they asking ME what that means?! ¬†Mind you, this happens only at one of the two Starbucksss, but seriously?!) There is also the quintessential baristO-crush where you think they are flirting with you. I mean.. this happens ALL the time! RIGHT?! (BAHAHAHA I’m literally laughing out loud typing this)

And then there is the name-dropping.. Ok, I know.. if you go to¬†any¬† Starbucks, you will know that 90% of the time, they will ask your name for the cup when they prep. But one Starbucks in particular¬†name-drops like whoa! I mean, it makes me feel at home, and like they remember me, or at least something about me.. I guess thats the point. ¬†But, a couple of baristOs at one of my Starbucksss totally made fun of my drink in front of me. They realize the drink bar is open to the public right? And what is so wrong with a tall iced-coffee-in-a-grande-cup-with-extra-ice?! Where I work, our air circulation is so terrible that it’s always about 75-80 degrees everyday.. do I really need to explain that to these baristOs?! And to top it all off, they know my name! Great.

Well this name-dropping business got me all confused. At one (or both ūüėČ ) of my Starbucksss I started getting name-dropped so often, I thought.. OMG do¬†I¬† have a baristO-crush?! I mean, for the past few weeks, I’ve had my name said.. nicely.. and with a coffee behind it! And it’s not only when my coffee is ready, it’s been right when I walk in! “Kara, you’re not normally here this late are you?” “I’m not used to you NOT ordering a coffee, Kara.” Whoa I tell you. And ok, I get that someone of my nature, (who should probably just work for Starbucks at this point) who is in as frequently as I am, name-dropping should be a norm. Whatever, I’ll see it as flattery any day.

Which brings me to my point of this awesome post. The other day, I overheard one of my baristO-crush-name-droppers say something about a girl he was ‘seeing’. WHAT?! I mean, I myself, have had a boyfriend.. for 5yrs now. ūüôā But in moments like these, you don’t¬†want to know those personal snip-its! Its like going to watch “Magic Mike’ and being reminded that Mr. Channing Tatum is¬†MARRIED.. happily at that! You don’t want to think about that! You just want to watch him dance around and forget there is even a plot to the movie.. wait, is¬†there?!

Question now is.. is he playing hard to get?! HAHAHAHA no.. but is it bad that now all this fake ‘special’ treatment is now normal? Knowing that any of these baristOs really¬†don’t have crushes on me!? Wait, are Starbucks employees¬†paid to flirt!? Maybe. Or maybe as a girl, it was just the flattery in it all.. and knowing that somewhere, the idea of someone having a crush on you, made you feel like.. a¬†girl.¬† A girl in a movie. Co-staring with Channing Tatum.¬†ūüėČ

So to all you baristOs out there.. if you are even pretend-fliritng, don’t talk about other girls.. it’s unprofessional anyway to the public, and all us coffee-loving ladies want to¬†pretend¬†you have a crush on us. the end.

breaking up is hard to do.

I planned on waiting a few days before blogging about the big Ray Allen news but I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

I figured after a couple of days, emotions would be settled, and maybe I could write about it without any real emotion from myself, just knowledge. However, after seeing Ray’s picture with Rashard Lewis holding up their Heat uniforms yesterday, a wildfire of emotions came through me. I almost cried. It was like when I broke up with my high school boyfriend and then finding out three weeks later that he was seeing someone new. I remember thinking, “you said you LOVED me!” I wanted to see this girl.. I needed to know if I was better than she was. Seeing Ray with that jersey.. aside from the pain, was the same as seeing that girl. I was flooded with teenage girl emotions all over again. But she was not better than me, and that jersey definitely looked better in GREEN. With a 20 on it. No matter what the Heat bring to the table this coming season, they aren’t Boston, they aren’t LA, they aren’t even the Bulls.. they aren’t much of anything other than a basketball organization who has great players. And as many sports enthusiasts can vouch, having great players doesn’t mean you have a great team.

Growing up in southern california, I was born into a family of Laker fans, and I of course, was also a fan. Part of me still is, when Boston isn’t a contender, but really, when does that happen? ūüėČ My family can’t understand how this happened, but living in the Boston area for almost 18 years now, it only took time before my blood would start to bleed Green. The competition with my family is always fun though, it was especially exciting in the 2008 and 2010 finals. As big of rivals Boston and LA are.. and as intense as their competition is, I would have rather seen Ray put on Yellow and Purple. I would have taken the beating from my family and all the snide remarks that came with it. Really I, and probably every other Celtics fan, would have rather seen Ray go anywhere but to the Heat.¬†Boston has history, and to-date, the most banners hanging from the rafters. Year after year, the Celtics and the Lakers are always considered hopefuls even when they have a bad season. It took negotiations and top-ranked players to make Miami what it is today, and even so, it’s only been that way for about 2-3 years. ¬†Call me spoiled, but I’m just happy I was able to be part of the two best NBA teams in the country. ūüôā

Back to Ray breaking up with us.. I was upset when I first heard the news, maybe not as upset as some people I know, but upset nonetheless. The reason I say ¬†it this way is because, as a person, I am fairly level headed when it comes to emotions toward athletes or celebrities. Really, what have they done for me other than entertain? Im not saying Ray did not impact the Celtics, or their fans, I am just saying its not worth a jersey burning, because yes, he DID impact the Celtics during his time here. But honestly, when I saw that jersey in his hands, that smile on his face, I’m telling you, I felt cheated on. There was a small part of me who wanted to pull out a lighter.

The hardest part about all of this is the “WHY!?” Just like my sad high school break up, I wanted answers. All of Boston wanted answers. A lot of scrutiny came out calling Ray “The new Johnny Damon.” (Johnny Damon left the Red Sox for the Yankees a fews years back.. right into our rivals arms) However, in conversation with someone dear to me, it was said that “No, its not like Johnny Damon, because Damon left for more money. You can never fault someone for doing that because in that situation, we would all do it.” Im sure there is a small percentage of people who would claim loyalty and stay, but either way.. Ray left us for LESS. So I can assume that what is eating away at Celtics fans is that Ray left for personal reasons.. and unfortunately no matter what ESPN or local sports networks can spew out, i.e. Ray leaving because he was almost traded the past few years, Ray didn’t get along with Rondo.. gossip, gossip. Even our own speculation as fans doesn’t matter because the only people who will know the real reason of Ray’s break-up with Boston is Ray, his wife, and most likely his agent. Thats it.

As Celtics fans, we will all be upset, we will hate to see that jersey.. red or green. We will never understand why.. Time will pass, wounds may be re-opened, but somehow, at some point, we will let go. Letting go is the best at this point because our concern right now should not be about Ray Allen, but instead, Rondo, Pierce, and Garnett. Like any break-up, you eventually have to let go but you always remember what you had, and what you still have.

GO Cs!

today.

Today is kind of a tough day.

It’s a day where I look back, and as cheese (my version of ‘cheesy’) as many of my posts are, I realize they are all true. As much as we want to live the way we watch it on television, read it, or quote it, it takes days like today where we question why we don’t actually¬†live that way.

I found out that an old high school friend passed away yesterday. She was only 30yrs old and lost her fight with cancer. When I say old friend, I just want to clarify that we were friends in high school, but we haven’t talked since. In more recent years, she found me on Facebook, and we “kept in touch” via the internet. I didn’t know much about her after high school other than what I saw from Facebook. ¬†I know she got married a few years ago and has three kids. We were not close, but when I read the news, I was back in high school. I was thinking.. imagine if we knew then how much time we had left.

My freshman year I lost a friend in a car accident. During that time I also wondered the same thing. My friends and I, and the whole town really, talked and talked about ‘how fragile life is’. Trying to keep this idea in the forefront of our minds.

And now, I am confronting these same emotions. Going into your 30s, the ideas of ‘threats’ like cancer, become more apparent in everyday life. Yet, (especially in this day-in-age where studies show we are living longer lives) we act as though we will live forever. Whether its 30 or 95, our time will come and it will still feel ‘too soon’ because there will always be a¬†tomorrow that we don’t see.

I have posted before about regrets of the elderly before they passed and to not make the same mistakes. I have also posted about what this life has in store for us and the possibility of why things happen. I write and write, and people read and agree. Yet it takes a life lost before it hits home. It is hitting me especially hard because there are so many things I want to do before the Lord calls my name. I only pray that I have the time to do it all and make the impact on this life that I feel I’m supposed to. And when that time comes, I will continue to pray in hopes I am able to see the outcome of my positive (hopefully!)¬†contribution I make on this world. I don’t know what this old friend of mine had planned in her life. I don’t know if she felt it was her time. As I mentioned before, I don’t know much, but what I do know, is that there is a family mourning a loss, and a ‘girl’ I talked to in the hallways and sang with in choir who lost a battle. I pray that the family finds peace.

I apologize if I have dampened the day. I did not share this to create sadness, but more as a reminder of, not only my posts, but of all those who share the same idea. Live today and don’t expect tomorrow, follow your dreams, tell people you love them. Make decisions and own them. Learn something new everyday. Make a difference even if its a small one. Have no regrets. Be thankful for everyday..

I can keep going, but you get the idea. If there is one more thing to say to finish off this post, it’s to remember ALL the cliches and keep them where you can see them.. Loss should not be the only reminder of life, today¬†should be.