a small rant.

For some reason the billboard music awards has conjured up some random emotion and thoughts.

So what do I do? Pour myself a glass of wine.

It has been a very tough week at work, and if you read my last post, you would have seen a small glimpse of my how I feel about my job. Speaking of jobs, I have been actively hunting, like the old school hunter-gatherer type, for a new career. It has been thoroughly frustrating because I love writing and consider myself naturally creative. However, my most recent work experience has been managing a 1.5M dollar bra and undie store. With that, comes offers only from sales groups or retailers. It amazes me how often companies miss the 2nd largest portion of my resume which includes working for one of the largest financial institutions in the US, graphic design, marketing, social networking, blogging, and even some admin work. Having done so much professionally seems to be a problem. I don’t specialize in one thing. I specialize in knowing HOW to do many things.

Even then, how did I become crumpled up and stuffed into a tiny hole of an idea that I know nothing more than how to manage a retail store? More so, aren’t management skills important? Long story short, I manage up to 25 associates during our busy “holiday” seasons and have a fairly good retention rate, especially for retail. And last year as a manager, I had the highest key performance indicators in my store. That means, during the times I ran business on the sales floor, I had the highest average dollar sale, units per transaction, and customer conversion rate combined.

Lets Wayne’s World this moment and take us to Friday {{waving hands and bee-doo-doop sounds}} As I was waiting for my laundry to dry at the ‘mat (as I like to call it) ‘Live! with Kelly’ was on. I freakin love that show! I believe Reggie Bush was the co-host, and Krysten Ritter was a guest. On the show there was a moment where Krysten was talking about how she got discovered. Kelly then began talking about talent and being discovered. She said something along the lines of: Some of the best talent is still undiscovered because they couldn’t make it to an audition or something.. She continued with a tiny discussion of uncontrollables and some controllables that hold people back from being discovered.

This got me thinking about my blog. And though this little blog of mine, is not as ‘big’ per say, as I would like it to be, I at least have some followers, and many friends who read along. But I also began to think.. is there something I’m not doing.. or worse, AM doing.. that is holding my blog back? And in essence, holding myself back from a career that I would be happy in? Better yet, flourishing in? And making a positive social contribution to? Am I not marketing myself properly? Does my blog suck!?

{{waving hands and bee-doo-doop sounds}}

Oh hello there again Billboard Music Awards. *takes sip of wine.

So here I am again, job hunting and getting frustrated that my natural and previous talents are being smoked-screened by this retail business. I guess its partially my fault since I have been searching at probably the worst time of the year because I am competing with recent grads heading into the job market. Thats another thing I would love to know: how can a 22yr old with no professional experience be more valuable than me? Now, I’m not saying recent grads aren’t valuable, I mean, we have med school grads, science grads, techies, art students even, who clearly have something I don’t. A skill I can’t do. I just wonder though, with a Communications degree myself, and a minor in Business/Marketing, why is it that being a 31yr old with professional experience makes me seem INvaluable? Is it because young grads technically will be alive longer than me? I mean, I’m still on track to make it another 40 to even 60 more years!

Or maybe its that thing.. those uncontrollables.. or maybe its the controllables.. Maybe I’ll just start doing cartwheels in front of all the companies I want to work for. Is that good marketing? Either way, I really need to figure this out, because I think the wine is starting to get to me..


keep your eyes on the prize..

hello friends!

Today, like many days, I realize something new. My realization today was nothing really profound, just another pat on the back, and Glee-like motivation to continue to reach beyond what is in front of me. If you get a moment, and you are open to reading about life and matters of faith, please read this Blog:  http://wp.me/p2hYeU-9i and you may see what I’m talking about.

This Blog, as Religious as it may seem, has taught me a few things. Honestly, I first started following AdoptingJames, not because I knew what they were blogging about, but because they followed me. I find that its respectful to follow bloggers who follow me, so long as I can relate. After further reading the blog, however, I learned so many new ways of looking at things. I have found strength in everyday obstacles and learned not be afraid of talking about my faith.

The reason why I’m talking about this particular blog post is because, 1: you’ll see a quote below that I extracted that I want to chat about, and 2: really, I just wanted to share with my friends because I know I’m not the only one feeling like this right now. No matter what religion you are, or what faith you carry, I feel like this message can be understood by all. Here is the excerpt:

“May we never take our eyes off of what’s to come, because when you’re pulled down by the mundane babblings of the cashier working next to you, you can offer a word of encouragement that something better is outside that retail store. Keep your eyes fixed on Heaven, and you won’t be able to help but speak about it with everyone you know. God knows that you’re not happy where you are (and sorry Mr. Olstene, but God isn’t concerned about our best life now), but He knows that there is a greater Life waiting for you on the other side of this world, and we should all be living for it each moment” -http://adoptingjames.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/fix-your-eyes-above/

This excerpt was towards the end of the post, but the post itself talks about feeling STUCK in a situation. its a good read I tell you. The reason why this portion of the post really hit me was because, if you know what I do for a living, the “babblings of the cashier working next to you” happens EVERYDAY! The other reason, more importantly, that hit me was the continuing line “you can offer a word of encouragement that something better is outside that retail store”

I do that everyday. I am the cheerleader at work. I’m a supporter, a friend, a motivator. Not to totally brag about myself, 🙂 but I have stopped people from quitting out of mere explanation of what they mean to me at work. Not only what they mean to me, but what they mean to this job, and what they are capable of doing. This job may not be what we do forever, but it is our job to learn from it and create experiences to help us further. Aside from work, I also help the people I work with understand that learning from your mistakes is not always the best way, but learning from OTHERS mistakes sometimes is more effective. In what I do for work, there comes a point where you do feel “stuck” so it is so coincidental that this blog popped up today when my co-worker and I had this EXACT conversation yesterday! We feel stuck, “comfortable” in other words, and feel like there is no way out. Its easy to stay where you are, no effort, no challenge. A wonderful friend of mine posted on FB one day “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. I felt then as I do now, that if we all think that way, we will never become stagnant.

This blog post, talks about stepping out and reaching higher. Looking ahead and looking for support from others. I know not everyone who reads this post will correlate Heaven with what is out there for them, but the message of knowing that we can be stronger than those that keep us down is marvelous. There IS more to this life.  Ive always had this strange feeling that the minute I’m not searching for something, life is over. Not necessarily, OVER, over, but I question, have I done EVERYTHING I can?! I mean, even in my own life, there are many people who think my dreams and aspirations are silly, but I keep trying, and finding more clever ways to get there. Because for me, I DO believe God has a greater plan for me. I feel as though I am meant to help people in a non-traditional way. I am a great mentor to many, and knowing that even if I helped only one person this whole time, its one person more than if I didn’t try at all. And sure, we all get STUCK at some point, heck, I AM stuck right now! But knowing there is a way out should be motivation enough to keep your head up and eyes focused.

As far as work and life is concerned, I plan to continue to be that cheerleader for those who are stuck. As I mentioned, I am also stuck.  Many who know me, know that. And honestly, always being the motivator sometimes leads me forget to motivate myself. The things I read in this post.. I have found myself saying to people! Strangely, however, why have I stopped saying them to myself?!  This post, couldn’t have shown up in my inbox at a better time.

Again, if you have the time to read it, I definitely recommend it. If not, you’ll be hearing about it from me anyway 🙂 And I know I’m promoting a blog right now, but don’t forget to keep reading mine! 🙂


who wants to drive a robot?

Today I had the “pleasure” of taking my boyfriend’s truck for a ride since he took my car to work. This is part of some plan we have to prepare ourselves for our escape to the Cape this weekend. Look at me rhyming! Anyway, he took my car since I’m off all day. This way, I can pack up the truck so, the minute he gets home, I’ll just be waiting outside and he’ll jump in and away we go.

He purchased this truck, 1: because he had been wanting another one since his last truck sadly died, and 2: because he is an avid fly-fisherman and his little dodge wasn’t helping with the fishing trips. My boyfriend, however, also loves cars, he even owned a Corvette once, and his little “vroom vroom” car, as I like to call it (the dodge), was a hot ticket when he first purchased it back in 2005. It’s some dodge something, something, with racing seats, and is a 5 speed manual with some sort of hyper-boost-fast&thefurious-terminology-function that makes the car even faster.  Sorry to any of you who also likes cars as much as my boyfriend does because clearly, I have no clue about any of these exciting features.

My boyfriend knows a thing or two about cars, and one of the reasons we hit it off so quickly is because I also own a standard vehicle. I have a lovely 2-door Honda Accord. It’s nothing fast or furious, but it was a manual nonetheless, and apparently you don’t find many females who can drive a standard, never mind enjoy it. We have had many a conversation about driving a standard and how all people should probably, at the very least, KNOW how to drive one. Especially car salesmen. When I test drove mine back in 2007, my salesman had ME drive it out into the lot. Yup, ME. What car salesman can’t drive a standard!?

Anyhow, back to my first sentence and my “pleasure”. So this truck my lovely boyfriend purchased is an automatic. I was shocked at first when he mentioned it, but his reason to me made sense. He drives into Boston everyday to work. He drives in an hour of traffic and all that clutching is terrible. So he did his best to put all his needs into one vehicle. Fantastic. I still wasn’t a huge fan, but what was I gonna do?


Well I have not driven an automatic in over 4 years and I got to take his truck today.. heres how I felt about it via FB:


I couldn’t believe the difference! I felt like the car was driving me! With all the talk about manual transmissions becoming extinct, this kind of frightens me. Heres a good article to read from 2010


Its true, all these “hands free parking” features, and no keys, who exactly is driving the car?! I know we are excited to live like the Jetsons, but I don’t think I’m ready to give up the power of changing gears myself.

I did think a little about this situation and was wondering.. if they stop making manuals what will my boyfriend watch?! The “Fast and the Furious” movies will die. How can you have a fast car thats automatic?! Its just strange. I don’t know how manuals can completely disappear. My guess is car manufacturers would still make them merely for the racing industry alone. I mean really, how can you race someone if you all have the same transmissions automatically gearing when THEY are ready? Will it turn into “who can step on the gas faster?!”

Aside from racing, like anything in life, when kids want to be like what they see on TV how will they learn if no one makes a manual car? Whatever the argument is for the industry, my argument is that I like knowing I’m in charge of my car. Also, one day while I’m driving, I want to know my car will not all of a sudden turn on me like in the movies. I know what you’re thinking, “that won’t happen”.. you want to know why? Because I will still be driving a manual. Through traffic, through mud, through blizzards and sunny days. All traffic does is give you a really toned left leg! And who doesn’t want that?! 🙂 Like I posted, Ill be clutching till I physically can’t clutch anymore.

Drive Manuals! The End.

what am I doing exactly..?

To all you bloggers out there, I salute you.

I like to consider myself part of your world, but after a year of typing ideas, messages, and some nonsense onto a few sites, I still feel like I’m just dipping my toes into your ocean of posts.

I like to read, and I’ve read several blogs. They inspire me, give me ideas, make me laugh even. I feel like that has happened maybe once or twice with my own blogs, however, I think its so few because I have such a hard time figuring out what to write!

I started blogging because one, I love writing. I don’t know about most of you, but I still write in a journal. I have about 7 to to date starting back as far as 6th grade. (a journal normally lasts me 4 years since I don’t write daily.) Second, I have a million ideas. A friend of mine thought this would be a great outlet for all those thoughts of mine, hysterical thoughts many times, but also inspirational ones, and many times even interesting ones.

Then.. I sit in front of this screen.. and its like Rachel Berry in her NYADA performance! Choke. I don’t know what happens!

On my trusty iPhone, I even have a tabbed note for blog ideas because I get ideas all day long and don’t want to forget them. Lets check it out now.. hmm whats on there:

Not bad.. music.. “music is my time machine” (that note was originally was from March but if you all have iPhones you know it will update if you go into the note itself.) I like that idea, but cmon.. Hot Chelle Rae?! Kesha and Gaga? I aparently have some awesome playlists.. Good thing I had Goo Goo Dolls written or I would’ve seriously questioned my music tastes.

Anyway, I would just like to, again, applaud bloggers because this is not easy for me, no matter how much I enjoy it. In the same breath I am honestly happy I started this because it was scary to me, but now I’m closer to following a dream of mine!

Now, if I can just properly draft out this “music is my time machine” idea..