so, ive been racking my brain on what to write about next.. honestly, with all the random things in my head recently, many of you would have unsubscribed by now if i had just thrown those thoughts down. however, just when i sit down to write about something i find interesting or meaningful.. twitter, yes twitter, enlightened me.
i saw a post from a friend of mine with a link http://is.gd/h9mubb and this link led me to a page written by a nurse who explained the 5 most common regrets people have when they are dying. i know, sorry to put this thought in all your heads, but it gets better. WE, who are reading this, (and others you might make read this), WE can still live the life we wont regret. of the 5, two stick out to me. mainly because the other three i feel like im able to do on a daily basis (many know that i do NOT work too hard! :))
but these two, especially the number one regret, really hit home.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
i see these two regrets as kind of a circle, so i was surprised to see one at the top and the other at the bottom. but that #1.. took my breath away, really. i still read it and get a feeling that i just wanna run off and change the world in all the crazy, wild ways i can think of. of course we will all interpret these regrets a little differently but really, i know SO MANY PEOPLE! who are living just based on expectations. and let me tell you, i will be showing this to them! 🙂
and of course, i myself fall into a struggle of living based on expectation and what is true to me. and again, it will be different for all, but i feel as though one of these expectations everyone tries to follow is relationships. for me and many of my friends, young and old, relationships take over everyones lives. and many times, we dont follow those instincts based on what we are looking for, we first try and follow the expectations of others. (go to school, get a job, get married, have kids.) and if and when this relationship fails, we feel as though we have failed. but really, do we ever sit down and think about it? were we actually happy? or were we just comfortable. were we even ready to start dating? or did we do it because everyone else thought it was a good idea to get me out of the house?! i mean i know some wonderful people in wonderful relationships, and those that are amazing, you can just feel the energy radiating off these people. not because they were lucky, but because they took the time to find out what really matters to them and did not compromise based on what society or family and friends thought. and really, what if you never went to school? are you disqualified in life?! what if you dont even like your job?! are you still “better” than your neighbors because at least youre getting paid more?!
this brings me to #5. these people are genuinely happy. those wild people out there who thought college was for crazy people and decided to save tsunami victims instead, the 40 yr old who decided that now is a good time to start a family because they finally know who they are themselves, or even Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote Eat, Pray, Love, to wake up at 30, with a family and what most would think an amazing life, and figure out that there is something out there calling to her. these people, who overstep the boundary a little, or a lot, are able to see beyond expectation. these people allowed themselves to be happy. read that again. ALLOWED themselves. Right. they didnt wait for it to happen, they made it happen. just like #5 reads: i wish i had LET MYSELF.. let myself.. you can let yourself be happy. its you that makes it happen. not anyone else, or anything. i know for a lot of people, youre thinking, yah ive heard that before. well then, if thats the case, youre being lazy! happiness is what you make of it. like i said in a previous blog. do something every day that scares you. you will find new things about yourself and others. maybe you will break an expectation.
and i know in our lives right now it is difficult, the economy, the end of the world, natural disasters.. there are a lot of factors that make us weary. but just as these people who have already passed, who expressed these ideas to be regrets.. they mentioned them for a reason, and they stated them the way they did, for a reason. “..I’D had the courage..” “..I had LET MYSELF..” they obviously wanted someone to learn from them. whether it be the nurse who wrote the column, or us.. who still have this chance. dont listen to the excuses, listen to your heart. and by all means, i am no wonder woman, im having just as hard a time as anyone. i have my bad days, i mope and complain. for me its baby steps.. breaking down the expectations a little at a time.. doing the things that make ME happy.
and just as a disclaimer: remember.. making yourself happy does not always mean be selfish. when you live to your true self, and not of expectation, you are also affecting those around you.. and when you are happy, it makes a positive impact.
When we are able to follow ourselves and our calling, we are happier people. we believe in everything we do. we may not always make our parents happy or even our friends, but they will always love us. or we hope so! (but that is for a whole other blog!)
..and when others see from us what is capable of life, hopefully they will look to do the same. we should learn for those who were not able to do what WE CAN do.